matdoesdev/Caddyfile

(https_redirect) {
	@do_https_redirect {
		not header_regexp veryoldbrowser User-Agent Navigator|MSIE|Mosaic|Kindle
		protocol http
	}
	redir @do_https_redirect https://{host}{uri}
}

(gif_redirect) {
	@do_not_gif_redirect {
		not header_regexp oldweb_today Origin http://localhost:10001
		not header_regexp oldweb_today Origin oldweb.today
		not header_regexp veryveryoldbrowser User-Agent Navigator|MSIE|NCSA_Mosaic
	}
	vars not_gif_redirect false
	vars @do_not_gif_redirect not_gif_redirect true
	@do_gif_redirect {
		expression `{vars.not_gif_redirect} == false`
		path_regexp ^/retro/.*\.png$
	}

	uri @do_gif_redirect path_regexp \.png$ .gif
}

matdoes.dev:80 matdoes.dev:443 http://matctazmu565vivubva3p3bulaneangiff47xmnezzjx2nuinwjoxjyd.onion {
	import https_redirect
	import gif_redirect

	@not_retro not path /retro
	header @not_retro Server "caddy i think"
	header /retro Server "CERN httpd"

	# block chrome but not chromium-based browsers
	@chrome {
		header_regexp chrome User-Agent Chrome\/[0-9./]+\s(Mobile\s)?Safari\/[0-9./]+$
		not header_regexp not_chrome User-Agent Googlebot/|eightyeightthirtyone
		not path /dot_git/*
	}
	respond @chrome "This site is best viewed with Firefox (or any browser that isn't Chrome).
		
If you're unable to use Firefox, you can also access this website via SSH, Gemini, Gopher, Finger, Telnet, and some others." 403

	# easter egg that makes old browsers show the retro page
	@retro_redirect {
		path /
		header_regexp oldbrowser User-Agent PaleMoon|Trident|MSIE|Netscape|Navigator
	}
	redir @retro_redirect /retro 302

	root * /www
	file_server {
		precompressed br gzip
	}

	# redirect to .json if the user requested application/json
	@json {
		header Accept application/json
		not path *.json
	}
	@json_index {
		header Accept application/json
		path /
	}
	rewrite @json_index /.json
	rewrite @json {path}.json

	# don't require .html
	try_files {path} {path}.html

	# allow requests from anywhere
	header Access-Control-Allow-Origin "*"

	# advertise onion site in headers
	@website host matdoes.dev
	header @website Onion-Location http://matctazmu565vivubva3p3bulaneangiff47xmnezzjx2nuinwjoxjyd.onion{path}

	log {
		output stdout
	}

	# fediverse webfinger support
	handle /.well-known/host-meta {
		redir https://f.matdoes.dev{uri}
	}
	handle /.well-known/webfinger {
		redir https://f.matdoes.dev{uri}
	}
	# matrix support
	handle /.well-known/matrix/* {
		redir https://matrix.matdoes.dev{uri}
	}

	# .git easter egg
	uri /.git/* replace .git dot_git 1

	route /buttons/88x31.* {
		uri strip_prefix /buttons
		file_server {
			root /opt/x227f
		}
	}
	handle_path /buttons/i/* {
		try_files {path} {path}.png {path}.gif {path}.jpg {path}.webp {path}.avif {path}.bmp
		root * /opt/x227f/buttons
		file_server
	}

	handle_errors {
		@should_be_404 {
			expression {http.error.status_code} == 404
			not random_paths 0.05
		}
		@should_be_451 {
			expression {http.error.status_code} == 404
			random_paths 0.05
		}

		vars is_451 false
		vars @should_be_451 is_451 true
		@is_451 `{vars.is_451} == true`
		@is_not_451 `{vars.is_451} == false`

		rewrite @is_451 /451.html
		file_server @is_451 {
			status 451
		}

		rewrite @should_be_404 /404.html
		file_server @is_not_451
	}
}

(matrix_media_proxy) {
	handle /_matrix/media/*/download/matdoes.dev/discord_* {
		header Access-Control-Allow-Origin *
		# Remove path prefix
		uri path_regexp ^/_matrix/media/.+/download/matdoes\.dev/discord_ /
		# The mxc patterns use | instead of /, so replace it first turning it into attachments/1234/5678/filename.png
		uri replace "%7C" /
		reverse_proxy {
			# reverse_proxy automatically includes the uri, so no {uri} at the end
			to https://cdn.discordapp.com
			# Caddy doesn't set the Host header automatically when reverse proxying
			# (because usually reverse proxies are local and don't care about Host headers)
			header_up Host cdn.discordapp.com
		}
	}
	# Do the same for thumbnails, but redirect to media.discordapp.net (which is Discord's thumbnailing server, and happens to use similar width/height params as Matrix)
	# Alternatively, you can point this at cdn.discordapp.com too. Clients shouldn't mind even if they get a bigger image than they asked for.
	handle /_matrix/media/*/thumbnail/matdoes.dev/discord_* {
		header Access-Control-Allow-Origin *
		uri path_regexp ^/_matrix/media/.+/thumbnail/matdoes\.dev/discord_ /
		uri replace "%7C" /
		reverse_proxy {
			to https://media.discordapp.net
			header_up Host media.discordapp.net
		}
	}
}
matrix.matdoes.dev {
	import matrix_media_proxy

	handle {
		reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:81
	}
}
matrix.matdoes.dev:8448 {
	import matrix_media_proxy

	handle {
		reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:8449
	}
}

stats.matrix.matdoes.dev {
	reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:81
}

fedi.matdoes.dev {
	handle * {
		redir https://f.matdoes.dev{uri}
	}
}

f.matdoes.dev {
	@chrome {
		header_regexp chrome User-Agent Chrome\/[0-9./]+\s(Mobile\s)?Safari\/[0-9./]+$
		not header User-Agent *Googlebot/*
	}

	respond @chrome "This site is best viewed with Firefox (or literally any browser that isn't Chrome)." 403
	reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:4000
}
git.matdoes.dev {
	reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:3000
}
s.matdoes.dev {
	reverse_proxy 127.0.0.1:28019
}

mail.matdoes.dev {
	respond "mat's mail server :)"
}
matdoes.dev:3 {
	header {
		colon3 :3
		Content-Type :3
		Date :3
		Server :3
	}
	respond ":3
"
}
hetzner.matdoes.dev {
	redir https://matdoes.dev{uri}
}

5.161.205.195 {
	header {
		Content-Type text/html
		Server "i forgor"
	}
	respond "uwu" 402
}

xmpp.matdoes.dev {
	respond ""
}